Terminology Tuesday

One of the greatest advantages of learning game is the lexicon. Complex social situations can be communicated in simple slang or acronyms (or initialisms - learn the difference). Unfortunately, there are few other sources that provide explanation of complex social phenomena outside of academia. I've met networking tutors who were amazed at the nimble and precise language used by PUAs. So sit back and enjoy the first installment of Terminology Tuesday, which will feature a mix of well worn PUA saws and inventions from my corner of the world.

Sometimes literature provides excellent tools to describe a class of situation. For example, when a girl claims that she is not interested in someone (when she actually is), even acting hostile towards them, rather than explain this with the attendant IOIs, physical structuring, PAI / MAI, and other miscellaneous details, all I have to say to friends is TLDPTMMT.

TLDPTMMT - The Lady Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks: a mouthful to be sure, but it captures a very specific situation that arises fairly often and requires specific maneuvering to resolve - personally I've seen or been through it at least a dozen times. While we are slightly mangling the original intent of the phrase (protest meant affinity [that preceding betrayal]), it is in line with the contemporary understanding of the phrase.

One beautiful term from game is Indicator of Interest (IOI), as it eliminated the need to explain that "dude, I think she might have just winked at you," or say "she just opened her hips to the room inviting you to approach." You can simply say "IOI" and perhaps indicate the most obvious element (arm, head angle, smile, etc). But IOI is crude, since it is nothing more than a bit - 0 or 1.

This lack of specificity drove me to look for something more useful, and when that search turned up nothing, I did what I always do - I invented something.

IOC - Indicator On Contact: any good PUA knows that there is a world of difference between the wink and smile that begins an exchange, and the one that appears after 15 minutes of skilled flirting. This is a green light to follow the 3 Second Rule (approach immediately, before you psych yourself out), but also should let you know to run lower intensity game, and to let the situation play to you, rather than aggressively pursuing and appearing overeager. If this happens on a date - you pick her up and she lights up with a smile - don't blow it, because she probably already wants to take you home (eventually in some cases, patience kids).

LIOI - Latent Indicator Of Interest: you like the girl, you're running your best game, you're having fun, but she's still detached. You let go, stop trying so hard and watch for more signals. And then there it is, out of the blue, a smoldering IOI. This is an LIOI, which comes late in the game and is seemingly inexplicable. My theory is that the LIOI indicates where a target transitions from a intellectual perspective on the date (pick-up, whatever) to an emotional one. When that wall drops, she just might run the tip of her tongue along her upper lip.

Whether or not I'm right about the cause, the LIOI is real, and needs greater study.

IOVC - Indicator On Venue Change: in a way, a combination of the IOC and LIOI. You move from picking her up at the front door to the car, and before you turn the key, you glance over and she gives you a devious smile. You walk into the restaurant and when you stop to talk to the hostess, she leans over to see something near you, brushing up against your back. These are the IOIs that happen at transition, subtle cues that she is enjoying your company and she wants the new venue to conform to that frame.

These are rampant in romantic comedies - see any time the romantic leads sit down to dinner. A brilliant recent example of this occurred in Parks and Recreation, when latent sexual tension ramps up in response to an Al Green song on the radio. The music (and their attraction) was strong enough to constitute a 'venue' change.

There you go, some new verbal ammunition for your next night out. And as always, use them wisely.